Basement

Anonymous

Why did the squirrel swim on its back. To keep its nuts dry

Puns

Joker207

Why did the squirrel swim on its back so it didn’t get it’s nuts wet

Little Johnny

Anonymous

Little Johnny ask a fireman and do you want to see my fire truck so the fireman goes look at it little Johnny Test I got my hat in my fire truck so those fireman says last night’s alright but why is it cacti up to you wagging and he look closer and so the string is tied up in knots and he said that nice all right but why is it tied up to his nuts the little Johnny said well that’s my son and so he Yank on it

Egg

Anonymous

Q:How do you get a squirrle to like yopu A:Act like a nut 😂

Q:Why dont eggs tell jokes? A:Because they´d crack each other up

Son:Dad can you put my shoes on?Dad:No son i dont think they would fit me Im on a sea food diet when i see food i eat it

I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me

Roast

s.... squelcher

deez nuts ahaha

Chase

Dante Medori

2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other “I’m-a cashew!”

Street

Dante Medori

2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!

Ex

J0K35

What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?

A roTHOT

Difference

SEX

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”

Other jokes:

  1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.

  2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?

  3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.

  4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!

  5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

  6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

  7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.

  8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.

Die

B

Why did Mr peanut die? His cane snapped.

Hell

Anonymous

squril:i got a joke dog:what the hell is it squril:i clicked my nuts and clickedmy poop

Nut

Stephanie

Ccddfftggfdrrttty

Family

Anonymous

I love my family

Nut

Anonymous

Hi 👋

Dad

Stephanie

Hi how are you busy doing right I just text me and my dad was just text

Car

Anonymous

What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day

Yo mama

Anonymous

deez nuts!!!

Mouth

Anonymous

Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth

Time

CCMS Smith, i.d.10t

The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"

Night

Stephanie

Hi how are you busy doing today did I have to text more today after dinner I did text and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠 night is so nice 👍 I did not walk away but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home can you walk

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