Nut jokes
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
Dees was a squirrel who had big nuts.
Everybody loved dees big nuts.
"DEEZ NUTS"
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
"Dez nuts, bell suck and she ugly."
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Do you know Wildee?
What's that?
Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
Have you learned SoDN in chemistry? It's so hard.
What's SoDN?
Suck on deez nuts.
Deez nuts!
Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?
Krusty nut
Do you know what SAWCON is?
SAWCON deez nuts.
When you throw your peanut butter sandwich at the nut allergy table: 25+ kill streak!
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.