This man walks into a bar and says... "how do i get service here." The assistant bar attendent tells him him to take a seat as the bar tender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes the man says this is ridiculous that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes goes buy and the man then says ok i get it no service of beer but free nuts to which the assistant says hell no the game starts in 10 minutes. Everyone laughs and claps.
Do you like Wendy’s? Yeah Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Other jokes:
1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.
2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?
3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.
4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!
5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.
6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.
8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
What falls and never gets hurt? Snow
2 nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other "I'm-a cashew!"
what is six inches, and has nuts, and is hard.
a sinkers bar
why did the hooker quit her job?
she had a nut allergy
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts
Gonorrhea
Broccoli says" I look like a tree" Walnut says "I look like a brain", Cashew says "I look like a kidney", Banana says "can we change the topic please? "
you know bofa? bofa deez nuts
What time is it when when a nurse 👩⚕️ s
Why can happen if you bring a hooker in a stranger's house he will ask you really are you nuts?
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning, he ate 12 year old nuts and a 13 year old wiener
Why did the female dicktator get fired she had to much dick
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
DEEEZ NUTS
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
