Nut jokes
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
DEEZ NUTS!
Danny, your mum [is] dead as hell and got raggedy shoes on.
What is a good nut?
A magic nut!
What time is it when a nurse's here?
It's nurse-thirty.
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one!
What nut is broken? A silly nut!
Have you heard of the work called "ligma balls?"
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.
The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Krusty nut
What did the squirrel say when he chewed some saggy boobs?
Is it just me or do these taste like nuts?
Q: What kind of Christmas music do elves like?
A: “Wrap” music.
Did you hear they think Michael Jackson died from food poisoning? He ate 12-year-old nuts and a 13-year-old wiener.