Nut jokes
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
What did the squirrel say to the dog?
"There are nuts in your poop. I found them!"
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? “If we don’t get some support, people will think we’re nuts.”
Fuke
I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?
I have to call Bovfa. What's Bovfa? Bovfa deez nuts fit in your mouth.
What do you call a magic car that I can do to help me out for you and I will be doing a great day?
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
Why are nuts on boys?
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
Why did Russia put war on Ukraine for more nuts?
What is a nut that is in outer space?
A broken nut.