Squirrel

Anonymous

What did the squirrel say to the dog?

There are nuts in your poop. I found them.

:(

0

Puns

Anonymous

My puns drive people nuts, this is usually when I bolt away

Squirrel

CCMS Smith, i.d.10t

The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"

House

Anonymous

Why can happen if you bring a hooker in a stranger’s house he will ask you really are you nuts?

Puns

Anonymous

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

Job

a local comedian

why did the hooker quit her job?

she had a nut allergy

Flower

Squirrel

what did the flower say to the crazy penut?

Ur going nuts boii get back on yo’ plant ur to nuts for me

Mouth

Anonymous

who is joe, you reply back who is candice, they reply back who is candice, you say candice nuts fit into joe mama’s mouth

Letter

Nutty jokes

The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.

… I guess her rubber broke too

Notebook

Anonymous

What are willing to write in your notebook these nuts.

Thought

yoongisbigfatcck

I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.

Yes

Me When The

do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if i and you where in the thing is where yes

Ball

David Arendt Jr

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls? “I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”

Wall

Anonymous

My mates threw nuts at the wall now we call them walnuts

Hahaha :)

Knee

Anonymous

This man walks into a bar and says… “how do i get service here.” The assistant bar attendent tells him him to take a seat as the bar tender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes the man says this is ridiculous that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes goes buy and the man then says ok i get it no service of beer but free nuts to which the assistant says hell no the game starts in 10 minutes. Everyone laughs and claps.

Text

Stephanie

Hi I did not get your text I text you when I text you you are not

Finish

Anonymous

Chris started to tell me a joke about nut, but he couldn’t finish

Bad

Stephanie

What is bad? A nut allergy

Puns

Joker207

Why did the squirrel swim on its back so it didn’t get it’s nuts wet

Night

Evie

What does a robot do after a one night stand? He nuts n bolts