Nut Jokes

Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

What do u call a 3 sum with a girl with aids?

Nut in the butt

Why did Adolf Hitler like nuts? He only had one.

What did the wire say to the electrician Stop twisting my nuts

There is a kid in my class who is allergic to peanuts. He says hes gay- he can't be tho.. he's allergic to nuts!

Me:what’s that girls name from phinease and ferb the sister Crush:candice Me:candice dick fit in your mouth Crush: slaps me Walks away

The popular girl told me "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!" Two weeks later, She shows up pregnant.

... I guess her rubber broke too

Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?? He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.

I bought a guh on the weekend. (whats a guh?) a GUHZZLE DEEZ NUTS! 🥜 🔩 🌰

I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth

I bet for Halloween you were a Goblin. how a about you gobble DEEZ nuts.

2 nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!

One day little johnny went to his grandma's house and she asks "do you like nuts" and little johnny says "yes i like nuts" and his grandma says "okay then grab them out of the cabinet" so little johnny went and grabbed them and he was sad after he grabbed them his grandma then says "whats wrong?" little johnny says "i thought they were real nuts." and his grandma fainted.

They say during sex you burn offas many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds

a girl asked ̈can i have some nuts too? ̈ boy: ̈sure what ones;) ̈