What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
Do you know who Dee is?
Dees nuts!
Dez nuts!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
Do nut get in my way.
My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.
My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.
Do nut get in my way.
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
Nutty.
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
