Nut jokes
Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
Do nut get in my way.
Do nut get in my way.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Memes
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
Nutty.
A 7-foot-tall man walks into a restaurant with his 4-foot-tall girlfriend, and the maitre d' says to the waiter, “He must be nuts over her.”
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
Do you know who Dee is?
Dees nuts!
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
Dez nuts!
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.
My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.
I'm as bored as heck, someone wanna chat?
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.