Nut jokes

What did the flower say to the crazy peanut?

"Ur going nuts boii, get back on yo' plant. Ur too nuts for me."

Have you heard of Wendy's?

Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.

Hey, can you Putin deez nuts?

A pirate walks into a tavern with a pirate ship attached to his nutty wuttys. It's driving me nuts!

A troll proceeds to pull out a desert eagle and shoot the pirate in the face. He makes a poggers face and says, "Problem??"

A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.

The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.

Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.

I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.

Nut

What happened to the police that crossed the road?

They solved a murder involving the nut case.

I got banana nut bread for you.

Oh no, the nuts are missing!

Oh, I found them!

You know where they are?

UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!

How did the nut study for its test?

It used the inter-nut.

I have nut cancer...

There is a new kind of jock strap; it only holds one nut. It is called a Trump supporter.

Dees was a squirrel who had big nuts.

Everybody loved dees big nuts.

What did one squirrel say to the other squirrel?

"Stop staring at my nuts."

"Dez nuts, bell suck and she ugly."

Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.

The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."

She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"

What nut is broken? A silly nut!

The cashew called the peanut boring.

The peanut felt very unsalted.

What kind of nuts come in cans?

Creamed a-corn.

What kind of tree fits into your hand? A palm tree.