Nut jokes
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
You pecan do it!
Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
Nutty.
Did you hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint?
My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
Why did the chicken cross the road? Nuts!
Do you know who Dee is?
Dees nuts!
Dez nuts!
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).