Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
You pecan do it!
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts; this ain’t no ordinary blow job.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this one's gonna blow!
Squirrel: I got a joke.
Dog: What the hell is it?
Squirrel: I clicked my nuts and clicked my poop.
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.
My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.
Do nut get in my way.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Have you seen the Justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at Fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts.
Bruh.
But actually, it's a parody.
Wait, actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing today? Did I have to text more today after dinner? I did text, and you have been to the vet and walk walk home from home and walk walk home 🏠. Night is so nice 👍. I did not walk away, but you don’t want me to text me to let you know when I get home, can you walk?
Hey, do you like nuts? Try our new product, deez nuts! *slam dunk* It's a bag filled with all of your favorite nuts! We called it deez nuts! *slam dunk* We got cashues peanuts wallnuts!
And it's called deez nuts! *slam dunk* Try out deez nuts *slam dunk* now! It's a bag, filled with your favorite nuts! Deez nuts! *slam dunk*
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
