Nut jokes
Dez nuts!
Do you know who Dee is?
Dees nuts!
Did you hear the one about the pecan, the walnut, and the cashew?
It was nut funny.
What do you call a nut who loves the game of chess?
A chess-nut.
You pecan do it!
Why did the nut go to the bank?
To cashew its check.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts!
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? I butter not tell you.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.
How have you been recently?
Oh, just playing some Rhydon.
What’s Rhydon?
Rhydon deez nutz!
Nutty.
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
Do nut get in my way.
Do nut get in my way.