Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9 and 11.
Numbers Jokes
Why can't Asian people use a telephone?
Because they might wing the wrong number.
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
1, 2 buckle my shoe.
3, 4 buckle some more.
5, 6 Nike kicks!
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
Sex is basically math. You add the bed. Subtract the clothes. Divide the legs to multiply inside.
Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
Me: Truth or dare?
Crush: Dare.
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.
Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.
Me: Ok, what is your phone number?
When an American goes on a scale, the other person will say, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"
If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?
Because it's in between 9/11.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
Kid 1: Words can't describe how ugly you are.
Kid 2: Words can describe how beautiful you are.
Kid 1: Aw, thanks!
Kid 2: But numbers can. 0/10
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."
Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."
And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
I like my clocks like I like people.
Under 12.
