Numbers jokes

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I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Yo mama so fat when the doctor saw her weight on the scale he said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number!"

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.

Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

What would you rate this woman?

A 7.

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

I see 2 fighting with 3. "What's going on?" I ask. 5 responds: "The numbers are moving on up."

An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."