Numbers jokes

Boob

    • A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

    To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."

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    • Wife

    • I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

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    • Nun

    • A cop pulls over a carload of nuns.

    The cop says, "Sister, this is a 55 MPH highway. Why are you going so slow?"

    The Sister replies, "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55."

    The cop answers, "Oh, Sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the name of the highway you are on!"

    The Sister says, "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful."

    At this point, the cop looks in the backseat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. The cop asks, "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They are shaking something terrible."

    The Sister answers, "We just got off Highway 101."

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    • Bus Driver

    • A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

    (Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

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    • Doctor

    • John pretended to be a doctor.

    Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

    John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

    Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

    John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

    Motu said, "I lost my memory."

    John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

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