Number jokes

Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"

The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine. But why did seven eat nine? Because seven knew you had to have three squared meals a day.

Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?

A: Cuatro Cinco.

Why can't a blonde call 911?

She can't find the 11.

Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!

"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"

I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.

Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).

Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.

What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

What’s the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds?

There’s twenty of them.

What is a tuba plus tuba? -- Fourba.

Why don't Romans find algebra interesting?

X is always 10.

Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

What would you rate this woman?

A 7.

Why?

Because 7 ate 9!

Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?

Because he was 2 squared.

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite poker hand?

Jacks and 5.

What’s the best part about sex with twenty eight year olds?

There are twenty of them.

What was Hitler’s favorite sex position?

Sixty nein.

Did you hear about the dyslexic couple who were struggling to have sex? They kept doing the 96 positions.

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈