Number

Number Jokes

Weight

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

Plane

If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"

Magician

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Middle

If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.

Date

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.

Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.

Mayo

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

9/11

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

Fat

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

PTSD

Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.

But why does 10 have PTSD?

Cuz it’s between 9/11.

Sex

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

Pattern

What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?

S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.