You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
Number Jokes
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered!"
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered sex offender.
Why was six so scared of seven? Because seven ate nine.
If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.
Why did 10 die??
Because he was in between 9/11.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.
Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.
But why does 10 have PTSD?
Cuz it’s between 9/11.
What did the 3 say to the 8? Have fun!
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
What's funnier than 24? 25!
69.
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
What's 2+2?
4.
