Number jokes

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

More than 10, since my basement's still dark.

I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.

I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."

Why was 10 traumatized?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.

Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?

That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a registered sex offender.

Me: Can I get your mom's number?

Friend: Here you go:

Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.

9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!

Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.

What’s the speed limit in bed?

It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.

What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?

14 number 1 hits.

What did 50 do when he was hungry?

58.

Here is a jacket for my favorite Jew.

It says, "271032."

What's the best thing about fucking 21 year olds?

There's 20 of them.