Number

Number jokes

Friend

    • Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.

    What would you rate this woman?

    A 7.

    Why?

    Because 7 ate 9!

    Nun

    • Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

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    • Pie

    • I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.

    I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."

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    • Number memes

    Children

    • How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

  • 1

    • Depression

    • Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

  • 4

    • Mom

    • Me: Can I get your mom's number?

    Friend: Here you go:

    Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.

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    • Asian

    • I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

    I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

    I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

  • 1

    • Mom

    • Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

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