Number jokes

Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?

Because he was 2 squared.

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.

I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."

Why was 10 traumatized?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.

How many children does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Not 27, because my basement is still dark.

Can some hot depressed suicidal guy give me his number so we can cry about being depressed and wanting to die?

What's the best thing about fucking twenty-one year olds?

That there's twenty of them hoo hoo hee hooo harr haar dee harr harr

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a registered sex offender.

Me: Can I get your mom's number?

Friend: Here you go:

Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.

9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!

Why is the number 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”

I was diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says my days are numbered.

Now I'm terrified of airports.

What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.

I called an Asian person and asked, 'Is this Mister Wing?' 'No.'

I called once more and asked, 'Is this Mister Wong?' 'No.'

I guess I 'winged the Wong number.'

Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Pick a number, syckkkkkkk, that’s the wrong number.

What’s the speed limit in bed?

It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.

What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?

14 number 1 hits.