Number jokes
I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭
Random guy: Hi, how old are you?
Me: 15
The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.
Me: Do you know what else is a number?
The guy: What?
Me: 911
"Gotta number one victory royale."
Ever notice 9-1-1 (the number for the po-po) is the Great Date (9-11)... Hmmm.
One night when I was six, I had this super annoying accent, and when I said the number "six," Oh no... One night my Catholic priest asked me how many cookies I needed for my family. I told him six, but thanks to my accent being mixed with many others including Scottish, French, and Russian, it sounded like I said "I need to have sex." He looked at me strange then pulled me into a closet, being a pedo.
When Momma asked me why I was missing for 6 hours, I told her, "I went to get the cookies like you told me to, and father raped the Christianity out of me." The angry look she gave my father was amazing. Then with my Papa, she beat the hell outta him.
Serves him right.
me rn : hold up, wait a minute, something ain’t right
You.
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
69, 420, 21.
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
Why was number 10 scared?
It was surrounded by 9/11.
I give you 31 because we will do the 69 later, thanks.
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."
Why was 10 scared because it was in the middle of 9/11?