The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
We got a. Number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend’s gone down, I revived him now we’re heading southbound! Now we’re in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!
AYO IMAGINE HAVING A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN BUT INSTEAD ITS COST A BILLION DOLLARS A GALLON AND YOU HAVE A HUNDRED THOUSANDS THAT NUMBER WILL NEVER EQUATE TO HOW MANY PORNO MAGAZINES AND ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES AND MALY LIQUORS STOLEN FROM MY BROTHER BEDROOM AS A DESPERATE ATTEMPT AT BEING EDGY AYO MAYBE INSTEAD OF THE FUTURE CARS BEING POWERED BY PETROLEUM OIL AND GASS BUT WITH HOT CHOCOLATE
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge? It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava, if they're active. And ours was.
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
A guy start texting a Cute girl and ask to give her phone no. So he can't call her the girl ok but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number then I am gonna be your gf and will meet you somewhere the transfer her the balance and called her but turn out the girl was actually a guy making him fool he blocked him. Next day he was very angry about himself being fool so thought he gonna do the same he make a fake girl account and start texting with some random guy and then he ask that guy to send him balance. Suddenly his father came in his bedroom and ask " son can you send me some balance i am gonna send you can after sometime" that guy look at his father with suspicious eyes and then he call that random number suddenly his father phone start ringing......
What is your number? Hi
62 is not just any number as it so happens to be my height 6,2 just as 25 is my age ,on facebook
When God made Chinese he said "DON'T LOOK!" and the chinese said "why?" and God replied "You wont want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing"
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man he said "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES" and the white man said "Why?" and God replied "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you"
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said "there is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the holocaust said "all these europeans killed each other so a white genocide is accurate, white killed white"
Then the Chinese said "thank you we take your land now"
And the Jews said "but we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said "yes every time God show up you get bullied! you might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said "why are you chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the chinese said "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so dont go looky looky at the world then"
It turned out the chinese are very obediant to God.
lol 1 week anniversary of me being on Worst Jokes Ever...
J0K35: *LETS START A JOKING KEGGAR*
A Joking keggar is where i get you drunk with some jokes, only on a special occasion.
Ok, yall ready to get drunk with raging jokes? OK LETS GOOOOo
What do you call an LGBTQ+ disc jockey?
A DG (dee gay)
What does lava use when it can't walk properly?
A volCANEo
What do crackheads do when a black man got brutalitized?
They start a HIGHot (say it like hiot _riot_)
What is Satan's favorite DJ?
MarshHELLo
What do neck breakers use?
Snapchat
What did Twitter and Reddit eat with chocolate and marshmellows?
Instagraham crackers
Is this the last joke?
No
What is similar between a dog and my ex?
They are both commonly known as bitches
What number has a flu from a pig?
Nine flu (swine flu)
What did the loaf say when he was playing hide and seek?
BREADY OR NOT? HERE I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Who is the best anime girl?
Well its pretty obvious 02 is on the second rank
Why did Sally get caned?
Because old men hurriCANED.
That was all
OR WAS IT?
Yes, it was (Come back on Halloween for another Joking Keggar)
