Number

Number jokes

Magician

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Middle

If 6 is afraid of 7 because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared? Because he is in the middle of 9/11.

Date

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.

Do you know why 10 was scared? Because he was between 9/11.

9/11

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

Memes

Mayo

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

Weight

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

Fat

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

Sex

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

Pattern

What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?

S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Intelligence

I might slide up to your block with intelligence. I'm a genius with a glock. There's some relevance. Took his chain, took his rocks. Took his sediments. There's no cap inside my speech. No impediments.

Putting numbers on the board, I use my calculator. Put a opp below the floor, he's a denominator. E = mc2, you didn't notice that? Had the shot, but he's too scared. Why didn't he buss it back?

Phone

Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.

Weight

The lady was so fat that when she stepped on the scale, the scale responded with, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Pen

I was in a bar in Italy. Me and a hot chick got along, so I asked her for her number. I remembered that there was a pen in my pocket, but when I searched, it was nowhere to be found. I turned back, then I saw Pessi running with it. Shame on you, Pessi, for ruining my night! 😭