Number jokes
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered sex offender.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
Why is England's team unfair in chess?
Because 2 rooks = 10 and a queen = 9.
Why is 8 afraid of 7 because 7 8 9. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOL
Why was 10 so scared?
He was in the middle of 9/11.
Why is 10 so scared? Cause it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.
What do squats eat? Numbers.
What did 1 pay with at the store? A 1/4 ;)
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number," my friend said. "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this.
We all know 6 is scared of 7 because 789, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11...
What comes after 69?
Period.
One day, little Sally hears the phone ringing. She picks it up.
"Hello, this is daddy, Sally. Is your mom nearby?"
Sally says, "No, she's upstairs with Uncle John."
"Uncle John? I don't know an Uncle John."
"No, no, no, you must be mistaken, daddy."
"No, I'm sure there's no one named Uncle John in our family."
"Okay, but why did you call?" Says Sally.
"Ummm, no reason, just tell mommy that daddy's pulling into the driveway right now."
"Okay daddy!"
*long pause*
"Okay daddy! I did it!"
"Great job Sally! What did she say?"
"Mommy said OH FU.. and then she ran around with no clothes on and tripped on the carpet and hit her head on the bookshelf. She's now resting it looks like... then Uncle John screams and jumps out the window into the swimming pool, but of course we took all the water out this winter..."
Then dad replies "Swimming pool? We don't have a... is this 468-1843?"
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.
Sike, that's the wrong number!
ooooooooooooooooooooo
What did the clock say when it got punched at noon?
It’s twelve o'clock.
What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!