Now Jokes

man: why cant an orphan use Verizon? kid: i dont know why man: cause they have a family plan kid: well i need to get another phone service now

Your mom is so fat when she swam in the sea Wales came up to her and said we are family even now you’re fatter than me.

She left and now I support womens rights. I will kill her.

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him your life is ruined. So Jim took a picture of her and the next thing you know he said is NOW MY PHONE IS RUINED.

There not jokes there notes now get me

I am in trouble

I was at afghanistan and i had been captured by the taliban. I was going to get the death penalty. Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now i will die. Shame on u penaldo!!

I pushed my best friend's chair in class, now i kinda feel bad that he was in a wheelchair.

Cashew a question? Nut now!

What does a man with 20 children do now?

Now he eats sausages even with cellophane

My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him and now we wait.

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette he will be warm for a short time, But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

Why are orphans bad at poker? They don't now what a full house is.

My mates threw nuts at the wall now we call them walnuts

Hahaha :)

freshfry we need to talk now...

ALYA I NEED TO TALK TO YOU NOW IF YOU DONT REPLY I WILL KERMIT THE NOT LIVING AND IF YOU DONT THINK I WILL I WILL POST YOUR ONLYFANS PHOTOS I GET EVERY MONTH FOR $5.99 A WEEK ( HIGH PRICE IF YOU ASK ME)

ALEX! WE NEED TO TALK! NOW!

Hi my sweet friends! This is for everyone who needs help right now :)

Abracadabra! Alacuzam! See that woman? She’s now a man? After the man got some sun, I turned this banana into a gun! Now look! I now have your phone, Apple Watch, and your credit card!