Now Jokes

Magician..." I am the greatest magician in the whole world... look now you see the rabbit in the hat and now it is gone!...Redneck girl..."That`s nothing my dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple hours!"...

There was an exam music quiz question about gary glitter, now if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh turn over, you've got an hour" .. it's him..

shit my bad.. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids

You can only say Kobe now when your playing flight simulator.

one day a teacher says:"what does a pig give us?" a student says:"bacon!" the teacher says:"good! now, what does a chicken give us?" a student says:"eggs!" the teacher says:"good! now, what does a fat cow give us?" a student says:"homework!" the whole class laughs

A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts. His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him. thats it for now

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested it's factuality-

Well it's been some good years now Haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

I go out with enyaw , now she is just gay

I go out with enyaw now she is just gay now

Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water Jack slipped his condom ripped and now they have a daughter

It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.

He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.

A cop pulls me over and asks if i have been drinking. I'm an honest person and say yes i did so i take of my sunglasses, and tell him that i now had 2glasses less.

You look like a double dipped chocolate chip cliff flipped glazed charcoal slim jim Mr. clog hunch frap no feet 9 arms 17 stomachs you stepdad beat you with a wiffle ball bat NBA youngboy was in your bathroom spitting on you and now you got herpes on your left side cheek

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off? He's all right now

Kobe was a bloody legend. NOw hes just bloody

I ran into a kid today now im in jail and i lost ma drivers license

Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!

for charlie damelio fans my basement is your home now leave a like if you agree with me

Lady: Can I lick your balls? Me: Ummmmm, Ok? Lady: grabs ball sack and licks my balls Me: I gonna have to clean these now Lady: Let me do that Me: No thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!