News jokes
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
Trump got a new jet.
He's probably already licked the windows.
Why was 6 afraid of 9?
Because 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
Memes
Why can't New York City play chess?
Because they lost 2 towers!
They said that new Juice WRLD album was shakin' good....
I bought a new camera once. Every shot I took was killer!
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?
Green Bay Packers & New England Patriots
Why did Gwen go to the store? To have a new.
Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?
It's about time!
I love you, my new phone! 📲
New.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and I will try to make a joke based off the object.
If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.
I will give the person credit each joke I do.