News jokes
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
"My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104."
Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
Memes
What NFL teams parts with James Charles!?
Green Bay Packers & New England Patriots
Why did Gwen go to the store? To have a new.
Did you hear Stephen Hawking has a new book out?
It's about time!
I love you, my new phone! 📲
New.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
Trump got a new jet.
He's probably already licked the windows.
I'm doing a new thing where you say an object in the comments, and I will try to make a joke based off the object.
If you are interested, you can submit an object in the comments.
I will give the person credit each joke I do.
Marriage is like buying a car. You see one that you like and then you buy it. But over the years, it gets older, rusty, and certain parts stop working.
Then you walk into a dealership and look at all the new ones and you're still stuck with the old one. You look over and go, "But I just wanna sit in it. Just once. It's even got leather interior, it's chrome, it doesn't even have oil or gas leaks! And it doesn't squeak!"
I have the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban at the New York Zoo.
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
What did I say to my friend, "Job, your new name is Jojo Siva?"
What did I say to my friend? "Job, your new name is Jojo Siwa."
Your mama is so skinny that when she went to go outside, the slightest breeze flew her all the way to New Mexico.