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News jokes

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Anger

Wade · 3 years ago

This explains a lot

An image of a cartoon rabbit with a broken ear and a dark face standing in front of a blurred fire with the text “BREAKING NEWS” and “MAN LITERALLY TOO ANGRY TO DIE”.

Drake

RapBoat · 2 years ago

Chat is this real??

A picture of Drake in a jacket with a circular inset image of Shaq. Text on the image reads "NEWS", "DRAKE CALLS OUT SHAQ TO A TICKLE FIGHT WITH NO CLOTHES ON" and "Betting odds are at Drake -250 & Shaq +175"

Star

The RĒAL RB · 1 year ago

NO!!! NOT WIFISKELETON!!!!!!

The image shows a screenshot of an article about the death of hyperpop artist Wifiskeleton who died at age 21 after a suicidal statement and haunting final livestream. The article states that he was reported dead by close friends, with the circumstances surrounding his death still largely unknown, except for fan reports and claims. Above the article, there is a picture of Wifiskeleton.

Charge

RapBoat · 2 years ago

Based king

A news headline states, 'Diddy: I Will Beat These Charges Senseless', accompanied by a photo of Diddy in a gray shirt.

Death

Cahyani Ambara · 3 years ago

Death

The top panel of the image shows a smiling blue character named Four with an adjacent character standing on a bench. Below this panel, there is text that reads, "Dying is not allowed." The bottom panel shows a live news report with a graph showing a sharp downward trend. At the bottom, the text reads, "BREAKING NEWS" and "DYING RATE DROPS TO 0%"

Cause

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Google search with the query "cause of the great london fire". The first result shown is "Great Fire of London / Cause" and below it is the answer "Fire".

Children

XCVHJhgfghjhgsghjuehdj23456789 · 3 years ago

hmmmmmm 🤑

The image shows a screenshot of a Google search bar where the word "children" is typed, and the "Shopping" tab is highlighted. Below the search bar is a picture of Geralt of Rivia from The Witcher, looking suspicious with the word "Hmm" written in white on the image.

Summer

Creed (shit isnt availabe) · 1 year ago

A meme featuring text at the top and bottom of an image of actor Mark Wahlberg looking confused. The top text reads "News: Deadly heatwave is coming. Texans:". The bottom text reads "YOU MEAN SUMMER?".

Racism

Anonymous · 3 years ago

A Google search page with the query "who started racism" showing results for Shrek, a film franchise. Three images of Shrek are displayed below the text.

Sentence

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

The image shows a news headline that reads: "Prisoners 'could serve 1,000 year sentence in eight hours'" followed by the text: "Future biotechnology could be used to make prisoners feel as if they were serving a 1,000 year sentence, a team of scientists claim". Below, Peter Griffin from "Family Guy" is sitting in a chair with the text: "ah sweet man-made horrors beyond my comprehension" above him.

Florida Man

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a meme with a picture of a headline that reads, "Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed 'Olaf'" along with a mugshot from the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office and a picture of a stuffed Olaf doll. The meme starts with the phrase "Roses are red, I got thrown off."

People

freddyfatbear · 3 years ago

:/

The image shows two scenes. The top scene shows two women yelling and pointing. The text "People who watch the news" is below them. The bottom scene shows a golden retriever dog wearing a tie and working on a laptop. The text "Graphic Designers" is below the dog. Behind the dog is a scene of explosions and war.

Rent

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A woman's mugshot below a newspaper headline that reads, "'Long Live Chairman Mao!' woman shouts as she decapitates her landlord with a Samurai Sword for raising her rent."

God

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) · 4 years ago

Oop

A skeleton wearing a Russian hat and holding a rifle sits behind a desk with papers. The text overlay says, "Oh god I've done it again" and a search bar with text, "help i accidentally joined the russian mafia."

Child

Daddy dick · 3 years ago

How much?

A search bar showing the word "children" followed by "shopping" circled. Below is a picture of Geralt with the text "Hmm."

NATO

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A Google search result showing that the NATO reporting name for the MiG-15 is "Fagot". The text also says that the Soviets provided the MiG-15 to communist satellite nations, including North Korea.

Asteroid

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Shitpost-master general

A news headline reads, "An asteroid the size of a small town is headed straight towards India." An illustration shows an asteroid headed toward India from space.

Page

αmy · 2 years ago

i know what i’m naming my child

A Google search results page for the search term "p girl names." The results include typical names like "Paige," "Patricia," and "Penelope," but also lists "Pakistan International Airlines."

Band

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

The image shows five white cartoon cats playing different instruments. The image is set up like a breaking news report with a red banner that says "BREAKING NEWS." The text reads, "NEW BAND IS BREAKING RECORDS A" and "@BONGOCATBAND HAS AMASSED 2 BILLION FOLLOWERS IN 3 MONTHS. BLOWING ALL". The cats are playing a keyboard, drums, a xylophone, and a guitar.

Tucker Carlson

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A meme shows a conversation where one person asks their mom for "Tucker Carlson", but the mom says they have Tucker Carlson at home. The bottom panel shows a person resembling Tucker Carlson with a banner that reads "CUCKER TARLSON", in the style of Fox News.

Media jokes
Press jokes
Current events jokes
Breaking news jokes
Newspaper jokes
Offensive jokes