Worst Jokes Ever
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
Wanna hear a joke?
YOUR MOM!
OHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor.
Police: Where is your neighbor’s house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
What were Stephen's last words? “Battery low.”
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
Father: "Son, you were adopted."
Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes."
These gags are killing me!
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
Don't bother; just try to live in England.
Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?
Because they can't make it to home.
What did the mute man tell the blind man?
Nothing.
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
Yo' mama is so stanky, her Sure deodorant got confused and her Secret deodorant told on her.