Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What did Darth Vader say to his smashed wristwatch?
A: I find your lack of face disturbing.
Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"
Woman two: "Did that work?"
Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
This for you roman y e e e nt
Friend: My girls are like boomerangs; they always come back.
Me: Mine DON'T :(
Friend: You know how I like my women like my coffee... hot.
Me: What if you don't like coffee? :(
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't f***ing matter, it's still not f***ing coming.
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
I like my women how I like my coffee... HOT.
What does the cell ride to work?
A vesicle.
I made a website for orphans, but there's no homepage.
There is only one thing I have to give my enemies.
A bucket full of dead baby heads and semen so they can replenish their spawn.
I like my women like I like my chocolate.
Edible.
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer. I know he LCD'd them and all, but I have been tripping all day.
Yo mama is soooooo fat that she was arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack!