Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
What's the difference between an onion and a baby?
One makes you cry when you cut it up.
Cock cock, who's there? Nobody.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
What did the frog say to the pedophile?
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?
"I look like an umbrella."
What is the smallest room in the world?
A mushroom.
Q: What did Tim say when his girlfriend fell down a rabbit hole?
A: Hole-y shit!
Hellen Keller once said, "love is not something you see or hear, it is something you feel," but of course she said it like this "fbfebsovbforbw urbwbwvorb."
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra!
I like my women how I like my cigarettes: Smokin’ hot, and with a little saliva on the butt.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
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