Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.
The other day at school we had to write down our hero and what we would do if they walked into our house. I got off easy because my hero is Stephen Hawking.
What game did knights play most often?
Women’s rights *bazinga!*
What's brown and hairy? A bear.
What's brown, hairy, and is in love with Ethan Herbst? Arij.
What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?
A bone-étit.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw the baby.
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?
1 baby tied to 5 trees.
These days, there are only two political parties in India: BJP and anti-BJP.
What's better than eight kids in a dustbin?
One kid in eight dustbins.
Do you think the founder of Dunlop was a retired tree surgeon or a hairdresser?
I wasn't going to have a brain transplant...
But then I changed my mind.
I have two eyes and am afraid of sex.
A Fortnite player.
