Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
Never Jokes
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
Want to hear a joke about a guy losing fingers?
Never mind, it’s too pointless.
What do you call an orphan with parents?
Idk, I never met one before.
Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."
Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.
More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?
An orphan.
Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?
Because they can’t find one.
lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never do anything to prevent?
A school shooting.
What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
