Never jokes
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
Things you never want to do in jail:
- Never piss off an inmate. - Don’t start fights with the cops. - Don’t drop the soap. - Don’t run away from the cops.
Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
Children should never run with scissors, and lesbians should never scissor with the runs.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
Doctor: "Does your penis burn after intercourse?" Patient: "I don't know. I never tried lighting it."
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
What's an upside of being an orphan?
You'll never get grounded again.
Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.
Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!
There once was a Mexican named Quan. He never talked about Dose. What happened to Dose?
Quan and Treis raped him. Once Quattro came out, they killed him. They were too poor to afford food, so they ended up eating Dose and Quattro.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."
Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
Oooh, I fall apart. Oooh, yeah, mmhmm. She told me that I'm not enough, yeah, And she left me with a broken heart, yeah. She fooled me twice and it's all my fault, yeah. She cut too deep, now she left me scarred, yeah. Now there's too many thoughts goin' through my brain, yeah, And now I'm takin' these shots like it's Novocaine, yeah. Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Never caught a feelin' this hard Harder than the liquor I pour Tell me you don't want me no more But I can't let go Everybody told me so Feelin' like I sold my soul Devil in the form of a whore Devil in the form of a whore You said it No, you said it No, you said it We'd be together Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Ice keep pourin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' Covered in scars and I can't help showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin' Ice keep droppin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' All these scars, can't help from showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin', yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought.
"Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.
Your hairline's so bad, your dad went to get the milk and never came back. Years later, he comes back and says, "Go get a hairline, boy."