Never jokes
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!
"Sinister Laugh"
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
Did you hear about the unborn fetus? Oh wait, never mind, it must have been aborted from the sight.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
My grandfather never threw anything away, bless him. He died in the war holding on to a hand grenade.
Hey, can I tell you a joke about pencils? Never mind, it's pointless.
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A: A Bed
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in The Alphabet? A: There are 11 letters in The Alphabet
Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy)
Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle)
Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and ? A: David!
Q: If you were in a rainforest, what would be the first thing you put on? A: The radio!
My ex broke up with me the day before his birthday. Yeah, he never got to see anything on his birthday. Next thing you know, I'm now in prison.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
USA: "Never forget 9/11."
Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"