Never jokes
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
What is wrong with orphans' phones?
They'll never have a home screen.
Kobe never missed a shot, but he missed the helipad.
I'm going to hell!
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
Why are the best used guns from France?
Because they have never been fired and they have only been dropped once.
Why do orphans only drink water in cereal?
'Cause Dad never brought home the milk...
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
Why do your orphans not drink beer?
Because last time they did, he went to suck some dudes' toes, then he tried to take him to his parents, but I guess that never happened.
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
Want to hear a joke about a guy losing fingers?
Never mind, it’s too pointless.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.