Never jokes
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
Why should you never talk to pie at a party? Because it goes on forever.
Never got a mother's love, lol.
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
A young Greek couple got married, and at their wedding...
...the mother of the bride took the bride aside for a quick chat.
"My sweet," she said, "you're now a woman. I'm so proud. Some advice for you now that you're married: Greek men are very particular, and at some point when you're making love to your new husband, he might suggest that you 'turn around,' if you know what I mean. If that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable, do not feel pressured to say yes."
The bride thanked her mother for the advice, and the wedding continued. That night, as she and her husband consummated the marriage, she was mildly surprised to learn that he never asked her to 'turn around.'
They spent a beautiful week together on their honeymoon and made love many times. But still, to her mild surprise, her husband never asked her to 'turn around.'
Their one year anniversary arrived, and they made love to celebrate the milestone. But again, to her mild surprise, the husband never asked her to 'turn around.' This continued for years: their second anniversary, third, fourth...
Finally, on their fifth anniversary, her husband started getting romantic with her in bed and said, "Honey, we've been married for five years. I was thinking we maybe try something new. I thought this time you could 'turn around,' if you know what I mean."
She replied, emphatically, "No! No, I do not do that, I am not that kind of woman!"
Without getting defensive, her husband simply said, "That's all well and good, honey. But I thought you said you wanted children?"
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
I never knew how to use a boomerang, until it hit me.
Gemini, it is you who is trying to start such a big mess for no reason. I never said it had a charm or a lead roll. I just want love and spread kindness. PS: I use my brain. I use it all the time, just for your information. I just hope we can be friends.
Best, Gwen
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
Mommy is a YouTuber, she can never spend time with me.
USA: "Never forget 9/11."
Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"
Me and my friends were talking. Then we started talking about our wives. I said, "So, I married a volcano for a wife. You never know when she will blow up."
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
Why are Liverpool not disabled friendly?
They never walk alone.