Never jokes

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he never skipped a beat!

Why can you never trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

I'm upset, but when I saw you, you never let me down.

No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.

"Knuckle babies" don't eat.

Wanna hear a pizza joke?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

Why did Stephen Hawking cross the street?

He didn’t; he never did.

How can you never find a hippo hiding behind a weed?

Because they're so good at it.

What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?

"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"

Kobe never died, he just faded away.

You should never suppress a fart. It travels up the spine high into the brain. That's where the shit ideas come from.

"BlessedBrian must be a SMOKE DETECTOR... because he never fails to kill the vibe."

I tried phone sex once, lost my bits to a stray "call waiting" beep. Very painful. Never again.

Confucius say: Never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid. You lose every time, and you only hurt yourself.

Unless he use Mongolian recurved bow... then you in trouble!

Karien: Don't care. You know what you did.

Jalie: I don't know what you mean. I did nothing! I'm telling the truth!

Karien: Sure. So you mean you never texted Oerien last night around 2:00 AM?

Jalie: NO, I NEVER DID THAT!

Karien: Jalie, stop the story telling. You were the one who had my phone yesterday. Just stop.

The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.

Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search,” as they would say.

By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving.

I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes.

During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean, and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up.

Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.