Never Jokes

How do you avoid getting raped? Never say no

If you are going to make fun of someone make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy. Dark humor is like a kid with cancer it never gets old.

Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!

I will never forget my grandfathers last words. “The fuck you doing whit that knife

guys don’t let nobody hurt you with words like someone once said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me

Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident. They’ll hear the one word they hate the most. “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE”

Why can orphans never be kidnapped? No-one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up"

Person 1 : "Where was Hiroshima?" Person 2 "In Japan" Person 1 "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."

What's the difference between Johnny Depp and Eminem? Eminem was never proven to beat his wife in court, but Johnny Depp was.

Why are mountains 🏔 never serious?

Because they’re hill areas.

What starts with M and ends with carriage?

This joke never gets old but then again neither does the baby

What is something feminists crave but will never get? Semen

For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.

F is for friends who don't talk to you. U is for Ur alone. N is for never having any plans at all, all you do is sit at home.

My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them. He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.

So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "a little gas never killed anyone

Never attempt to foreshadow your own death you may end up regretting it, you can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if i’m wrong.

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance and I'm tired of it. Today I push him out of his wheelchair.

I'm so mad I got arrested for rape even though the girl never said no. The prosecution said she was mute but how was I supposed to know she never told me.