Never

Never Jokes

Jimmy Savile

I heard that Jimmy Savile never wanted to be famous... All he ever wanted was to settle down, and have kids.

Depression

Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."

Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."

Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."

Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."

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  • Dad

    Roses are red.

    My soul is black.

    I am never getting my dad back.

  • 6
  • 911

    I was watching the local chief police in America, he said, "We will never forget 911." I thought, "I should hope not, it's your phone number."

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  • Dildo

    What's the difference between sand and a dildo? Sand has never gone up my ass.

  • 1
  • Man

    A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...

    A page of text detailing the life and work of Niels Bohr, a prominent figure in physics.

    9/11

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    9/11.

    9/11 who?

    You said that you would never forget!

  • 0
  • Charity

    What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?

    They never get old.

    Ocean

    Why was the ocean so blue? Because the island never waved back.

  • 6
  • Vegetarian

    Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?

    They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.

    Touchdown

    Q: Why did the young boy ask his parents to take him to the Cowboys’ AT&T Stadium during the tornado warning?

    A: He said, “There’s never a touchdown there.”

    Olympics

    Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.

  • 4
  • Robot

    You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.

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  • Bunny

    Why can you never hear bunnies having sex? Because they have cotton balls.

    Wheelchair

    One day I was jogging through the park and I saw this lady sitting next to a pond in a wheelchair with no legs and arms and said "Why are you crying" she said she had never been hugged I gave her a hug and jogged away.The next day i saw her again and asked her the same question she said "I've never been kissed" I gave her a kiss and went, The third day i asked her thrice and she said I've never been fucked I picked her up from her wheelchair and throwed her in the pond and said your fucked now She didn't make it:)

    Emo

    - The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

    - How did the gay person die? Homicide.

    - Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

    - When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

    - I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

    - I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

    - How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.