Never jokes
Why can you never surprise mountains?
They peak.
I wish death was in the form of a woman.
That way, it would never come for me.
I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
USA: "Never forget 9/11."
Brits: "What happened on the 9th of November?"
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
"If we don’t have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.
What cookie has an orphan never had?
Homemade.
Why did the retard cross the road?
He never made it!
Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.
My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.
Want to hear a maze joke?
Never mind, too corny.
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.
So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"
I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
Never compare an orphan to an Apple because the Apple always gets picked.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.