Never

Never jokes

Robot

    • Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

    During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

    Hehe

  • 2

    • Rhyme

    • The fact that "Hawkins" rhymes with "walking" and "talking," yet he could never do any of them.

    Never memes

    Orphan

    • Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

  • 0

    • Mama

    • Yo mama so fat, when she goes to get grapes off a bush, the bush says, "Bitch, I never thought they can grow that big!"

  • 0

    • Alien

    • I found an alien in my backyard. I put him to work. He went to a farm, and I never saw him again. Moments later, he is on the Daily Planet acting as a reporter. A green rock smashed my house. I called him back, and he passed out.

    I remarked, "You lazy!"

    Dwarf

    • The cold winter night, there was a cabin in the woods. The cabin housed 3 men. The men were gay but they did not know.

    Fili: "Fili." Kili: "And Kili." Fili and Kili: "At your service." Kili: "You must be Mr. Baggins." Bilbo: "No! You can’t come in, you’ve come to the wrong house." Kili: "What?! Has it been canceled?" Fili: "No one told us." Bilbo: "Can...! No, nothing’s been canceled." Kili: "That’s a relief." Fili: "Careful with these, I just had them sharpened." Kili: "It’s nice, this place. Did you do it yourself?" Bilbo: "Uh...no, it’s been in the family for years. That’s my mother’s glory box, can you please not do that?" Dwalin: "Fili, Ki­li, come on, give us a hand." Kili: "Mr. Dwalin." Balin: "Let’s shove this in the hole, or otherwise we’ll never get everyone in." Bilbo: "Ev...everyone?! How many more are there? Oh, no! No, no. There’s nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There’s far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blockhead’s idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" One of the Dwarves: "Get off, you big lump!"

    Then the men only had one seat they had in the cabin. It was a bar seat. they were able to flip it upside down and fit all of them on it.

  • 4

    • Crush

    • High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

    Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

    High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

    Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

    High school crush: Who is it?

    Me: You.

    Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

    Me: Fuck that.

  • 3

    • Rick Astley

    • What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

    You get PRICKrolled.

  • 1

    • Sister

    • There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.

    When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”

  • 1

    • Rickroll

    • This is a Rickroll. The joke is that you thought you were going to get something else, but instead you got Rickrolled.

  • 2