I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
Never Jokes
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.
"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"
You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.
Why does the orphan drink hot coco with water?
Because his dad never came back with the milk.
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
What's one thing you'll never find in lost and found?
Your dad.
Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
What did the bones on the moon tell the astronaut?
The cow never made it.
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.
And 100% of men don’t care.
