Never jokes

Me and my friend roasting each other.

Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.

Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.

Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?

A. They never get old.

Have you ever wondered why orphans hate milk?

'Cause their dad never came back with it.

How many emos does it take to fix a light?

I don't know because they never came down.

Your mother is responsible for all the train drivers that are never ever late. She taught them all to pull out on time.

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

I’ll never forget my dad’s last words. “Erase my search history, son.”

Little Mickel was on a tree.

He fell down and hurt his knee.

He sat down and started to cry, and from there, he would never lie.

Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:

"You need to park a little closer."

Columbine High basketball team will never be good again after they lost their two best shooters.

Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?

The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.

I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.

Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never learned how to home cook.

Why do orphans have no sense of humor?

I guess they've never heard a dad joke.

Me: *watching TV*

Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!

Me: Really?

Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.

(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?

Kid 2: Never leave home without it.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!