Never jokes
A man walked into a library. He asked the librarian, "Have you got a book on how to commit suicide?" The librarian replied, "No, you'd never bring it back!"
They'll never do reverse cowgirl because you never turn your back on family.
The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.
Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...
This is about Gwen.
I don't know her, but people are just causing too much drama over one person who never said one thing to them.
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
Never break someone’s heart, they only have one.
Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?
How can you tell an Asian guy is awake?
You can never tell.
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
Why did Stephen Hawking's girlfriend finish with him? Because he would never walk her home.
What do you call a burning orphan in a wheelchair? Hot Wheels.
What hit the ground first, the orphan or the apple? The apple. The orphan never hit the ground.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.
He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.
Three women were in heaven. The angel at the gates said, "How good the ride into heaven is for you, is determined by your commitment to your most recent partner."
The first lady says, "2 years, 2 side-hoes." She got an old lexus.
The second lady says, "10 years, 1 visit from a prostitute." She got a Mercedes-Benz.
The third lady says, "I never had a husband."
The angel says in response, "F*ck me and then you can have a lambo."
They all arrive in heaven, to see the second lady crying.
The first lady says, "I know we are dead, but it could be a lot worse."
"How!?" The third lady cries, "The angel has a flute for a d*ck!"
Me: "WYD?"
Her: "Just dealing with a lot: depression, anxiety, and the feeling that I'll never be enough."
Me: "Without me? Lol"
Why does Wednesday Addams never blink?
Why can’t I drive? 'Cuz my dad never showed me how, yet.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
Well I guess exoplanets never had some exoloration. 🤣🤣🤣