Bro never learned how to play jenga 🙄
Why does an Orphan never learn how to drive cause he has no dad to help him
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them
This is a plane 2 for 1 combo to never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
Why dose the basketball never get a date ........ Because they dribble. ✌️✌️✌️✌️
Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
A Weasle walks into a bar the bartender says "Wow I've never served a weasle before, what can I get you?" "Pop", goes the weasle.
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable -
but I never realized they suited me
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2 He never talks about it.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an apple store? Because they don`t have windows. 🤢 🤣
Why do they never serve beer at a math party? - Because you can't drink and derive.
Person: So you know that persons name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dea Friend: Yeah John Wilkes Booth Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln. Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot
i will never forget my mother and fathers last words
WHERE THE SAM HELL DID YOU GET A GRANADE
Ill never forget my mother last words. What's are doing with that sledge hammer
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
a man dies and goes to heaven he sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for, he replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. he said that mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincon's once, and George Washington's never. the man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Bidden's is the one keeping the hurricane's to speed
Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . .
and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that." The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
Dead baby jokes never get old...
I've never seen my dad since September 11, I wonder where he is....
