A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
What should you never say to an orphan?
Your Mom
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
Yo mama so fat, when she ran... oh wait never mind.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher: What?
Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.
Teacher: Why water?
Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
Why does the Jedi never join the dark side?
If they did, then they would lose the opportunity to molest young padawans.
I would make a disabled joke.
But they never work.
Why do Asians excel at math?
Because their dog can never eat their homework.
Why You should never poop on the floor in an apple store? Because they don`t have windows. 🤢 🤣
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
Never hide something behind a bookshelf. It's the oldest trick in the book!
What do a condom and a gun have in common? You should never use either one of them.
Why does the basketball never get a date?
Because they dribble.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
