Never jokes

Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?

Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.

As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."

Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?

They’re never straight with you.

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga.

And 100% of men don’t care.

Kid: What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher: What?

Kid: Fruity Pebbles with water.

Teacher: Why water?

Kid: 'Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

I could never fall out of a boat because I've already fallen for you.

I wish death was in the form of a woman.

That way, it would never come for me.

Why can orphans travel around so much?

A. They never get homesick.

We better stop telling orphan jokes because their parents will get mad. Oh... wait... never mind.

Why did the retard cross the road?

He never made it!

Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.

My crush rejected me 2 years ago, and I still have never moved on. I'll be over her when a train is over me.

*Riddle:* All men have one, some got long, some got small. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife after getting married. What is it?

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

When you see an orphanage bully, remind them that no matter how powerful they are, they will never be as strong as their dads... Oh wait, they don't have a dad.

Want to hear a maze joke?

Never mind, too corny.

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive.

I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!

Why do mountains never rest?

Because it’s ever-est.