My jokes

I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.

Wow, this group is a joke, like my life.

One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.

You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Rabid cow.

Rabid cow who?

Hold on, I need to get my gun...

No. Eat my butt!

Q: I wish my grass was emo.

A: Then it would cut itself.

What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?

You're my boo!

My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.

I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!

Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!

My name is Big Dick.

My name is Justin. I like dick. Lit? Let me eat you out like?

I'm sorry, none of my jokes are very punny.

Suck my pp!

My dad said I need to eat more. I don't know why, but his fat ass needs to stop eating.

My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."

I will remember my classmate's last words: "Ahh, my pen's ink spilled on my computer!"

I was lying on the bed the other night and my missus was playing with my cock, trying to get it to go hard. She asked me what's the matter? I said, "I just don't find women without hair very attractive."

I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.

Am I the only one here that actually tried to kill myself 15 times and failed every time and landed up in the hospital every time?