My jokes
My name is Mr. Cheese, but your jokes are still cheesier than me...
Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?
I would too if my name was Braille.
Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?
Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.
Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.
Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!
Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*
Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.
Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.
Q: I wish my grass was emo.
A: Then it would cut itself.
One day me and my friend Howard the duck went into the bar. I ordered a drink. Howard told the waiter to put it on his... BILL.
You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun...
My friend had a house FULL of okra, but it blew up and okra was everywhere.
I guess you can call that place Okra-homa!
What did the boy goat say to his girlfriend?
You're my boo!
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
So I told my sister, "Want [to] hear some jokes?" and she was like, "Hit me with [your] best shot, fire away," and I was like, "Okay, I know [you're] singing an old song, yeah I was trying to see if [you] sing too," and I said, "Who do [you] think I am, Chris Brown?"
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
Roses are red, violets are blue, My name is Bucky, And I am stucky.
Suck my pp!
I'm gonna cut my life off.
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
I was talking to my friends and they said a random topic about cats, and I'm like, "Water you talking about?" =3
I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.