My jokes
This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).
My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).
Well, I don't have a joke but... I have a poem.
My dick is red, your pussy is blue. I... lied to you.
Are you a blood bender? 'Cause you're making my blood go south🖤.
Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!
A person walks into the bar and said, "Hey barman, get my son a drink and tell him his dad is dead."
Who said that?
If my cat was a cactus, doesn't that make him a catus?
Roses are red, violets are blue, my bed has room for 2 ;)
My mom's name is Angel, and she is nothing like one!
Especially in bed...
So, my best friend's boyfriend broke up with her, and she started to cry.
So I told her a "single" joke, then she said, "Go and fucking die, you insensitive bitch!"
I later said, "Ugh, fine, as your BFF, I will break his body for you—happy now?"
She said, "*sniff* yes."
I like my coffee like my men, long and black.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
Here’s my pun.
Yup literally nothing... jeez this was pretty plain.
The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.
Check out my YouTube Channel! (Gamer Zacoo01).
What do you say to Stephen Hawking when he dies?
"Rust in pieces!"
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
This is nothing to do with 9/11, but this is my best joke.
What do you call a Paki in a microwave?
Pting pting pting.
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
The Tupperware people came to our house. They asked my wife, "Where's the kitchen?"
Sorry, I have only lived here for 3 months, but my jewelry is upstairs in my jewelry box located in my bedroom.
Time for double joke Tuesday.
What is a bird's favorite letter?
A C gull.
So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.
Kid: You're a dick, you know!
Me: And you're a pussy, you know?