Q: What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching?
A: You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
My Jokes
My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."
I will give you a nickel if you tickle my nickel pickle, Rick.
My friend's name is Campbell, so she must love soup.
What’s the difference between a boomerang and my dad?
Only the boomerang came back. It’s been 14 years, where’s my dad?
💀💀💀
My life </3 XD :'(
My friend's life.
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET!
My car 🚘
I did a walk today, but it was good for me and my car. And a walk today.
Your mom stinks.
That is my joke.
You mom doesn’t really stink.
I know I am stupid. 🤕
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.
Have you heard about my new can crushing job?
It's soda-pressing.
My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.
I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
Me: Hi Kallen.
Kallen: Hi.
Me: You're too big to fit in my car.
Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.
And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.
Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
