My jokes

My dad said not to touch this thingy called a gun, but I looked down that pole and pressed that thing, and now I'm in heaven.

My newly wed wife is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.

I went fishing while watching porn, and my girlfriend said, "Well, you want my fish?" and I said, "But you're not in the water."

I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, the watch voice asked us if we wanted to do a solo run or a group run.

Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout, “I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty!”

Shame on you, Pessi!

I was listening to some Drake in class.

My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that "Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi!" I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated.

Okay so not a joke but like- There's a fucking noose in my school gym.

AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!

"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.

My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.

Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”

The day I saw people asking Lebron James whether he liked to play basketball, my thoughts be like: wait, so Lebron James is gay cuz he likes to play with them balls.

Who wants a picture of my pp?

Hi, my name is Moo, what is your name? Moo.

My mom left me at a very young age.

Guys stop before I tell my parents!

Who dislikes my freestyle?

Hello Honey Bunches, it's me, Your Narrator. I was told by my buddy youthpartorryan he's in the middle of a war... I may be super wholesome but war against my buddy? Ho ho ho, no! A STORM IS COMING. #BestFriends

Gwen, I am not gay. There is some stupid faker online! I swear on my life that I am not!

Btw, if I was gay, then why am I chatting and dating a girl?

Hi, my name is unknown guy! Please comment on the pictures I show you and join my group!

Whoever took my dildo,

I hope you're having a good time.