My jokes

"Today was the worst day ever." "Why?" Because my ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

My dad: You better wear flip-flops everywhere.

Suicidal son: Goes to crack alley.

I'll pat your breasts, pat your breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you better bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", And then throw you in the fire cos you're now worthless to me!

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.

My name shows it all if you can't see, IDC AT ALL, you can ban me.

But let me tell you one thing, Without God, Isr-el is nothing.

So let me say it again, one last time, Free Free Palestine!

"We got a number one victory royale, yeah Fortnite we boutta get down! Get down! Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town! My friend's gone down, I revived him now we're heading southbound! Now we're in the pleasant park street, look at the map, go to the marked sheet!"

My son.

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

Did you know that whenever I read my blood donor ID?

Because it says "B Positive!"

What's the difference between 13 dead babies and a skeleton?

There aren't any, there's 13 skeletons in my closet.

My existence.

My life.

Person you don't know, my name.

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.

"That's not my name, but okay, that's cool. My name is Coco, but okay, and I already knew Jayden was a boy who is bi."

I would tell a joke, but I’m sad my dad died in 9/11. He’s the greatest pilot that went down with the Twin Towers.

Me: Jaiden telling orphan jokes to my friend.

That orphan behind me...

You're so fat that you're gonna be my next hamburger for dinner and the next In-N-Out, just like your parents.

Hey, wanna hear a joke?

My life :(