My jokes

Guy goes to the doctor. The doctor says, "You look run down." The guy says, "No, I've come on my bike!"

My life, haha, so funny!

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

I was looking for my sister... I looked down at my feet and saw her.

I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.

Rob, you forgot to pay me for letting you sucky sucky on my thang.

AKA you're for sale.

It was too irritating to listen to her and lend her my ear to talk to.

"Where ya going?"

"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."

I remember my grandma's last words:

"What are you doing with that axe?"

Some people decide to start a blog.

Others decide to start a blog.

You know what my sink started?

A clog.

How many fat people are in my house?

20, counting the kids in the basement.

"Igma is my balls."

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

My teacher told me to have a good day. SOOOOOOOOOO I went home :)

Orphan: I want to be a relator.

Teacher: Why?

Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.

My dad and I were playing hide and seek. I still haven’t found him. It’s been 15 years.

I love you, my new phone! 📲

My friend: Yo stupid.

Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?

My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*

Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.

Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"