My jokes
Stroke victims are my heroes.
My favorite is Louis C.K.
My friend walked down the street and peed on a car.
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.
Can a cook and clean for real? No, I do not want no rabbit hare in my house.
My name has "anus" in it.
I'm lonely, but all I have is my cheeseburger, but what is the matter of living if you only have one thing?
But a cheeseburger is all you need 'cause it has 1,000,000,000,000 bucks man, so I can't just take it and spend it wherever I want.
Wanna hear a short joke? Well duh, I mean that's why you're on here... Well, here one...
My life.
Shoutout to gil44200ns for commenting on my post!
I tried to dress hot so my boyfriend would cast some attention upon me, but it just made him sweat.
My teacher: Time can't count.
Me: Every second counts.
My teacher: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh!
Is your name ooOOo? Because my name is lalala.
oOO laLA!
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.
My mom told me she couldn't open the garage door. Then it opened up to me that it wasn't broke anymore.
I was once playing the bottle flip challenge on the school table with my friend, and when it was his turn, the bottle fell to his eggplant! 😱😂
POV: Your grandma is on life support. I would unplug her life support to charge my third phone.
Not to be rude or anything, but I'm not adopted. My boyfriend is, and some of these are really mean because sometimes their parents give them up just because they're ugly or just because of their skin color. We should stop making fun of them, and yes, I do giggle sometimes, but they can be really hurtful sometimes.
So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.
My best friend said, "Can you put your dick in me?" I said, "Can I cum in you?"
I once was sitting outside and watched the birds go by. I checked my watch and said, "My, how time is FLYING by!"
How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.