My jokes

My dick said that your ass is having a boner.

I was going home and 3 guys came up to me: an Italian, a Black guy, and a Spanish guy. They said, "You should be a proud brother, your sister knows her meats." I didn't know what they were talking about. They said, "Your sister won a trophy, you will see it when you get home." I went home. My sister said, "Look, I won a trophy by knowing my meats." I said, "What do you mean?" She said, "Well, 3 guys blindfolded me and I gave them a blowjob, each one of them, and I guessed which flavor it was. I was right all the time, that's how I won my trophy." As a big brother, I couldn't be any prouder.

I’m a god, and I’m here to flex on you bitches. My flight to New York on September 11th was rocky, but I lived.

Imagine dying on a plane, fr. At least try and respawn:/

"911, I just crashed my car. I think it's burning. I can't see. It hurts to breathe."

What do orphans use to make breakfast? My ass! 🤣🤣

This isn’t a joke, but my name [is] Mr. Cheese.

A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

I call my sister a "fat cow," and she asks me, "Want to hear a joke?" I say, "Sure." She says, "You are the joke!"

DON’T READ THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT PLAYED SETTLERS OF CATAN!

“Wheat is going on?” I asked my godmother. She replied “Godson, I really don’t know, but could you please get me some m-ore Shloer?”

“Ok, I’ll sheep if there’s any in the fridge!”

A goat drank my Red Bull, so now it's a Baphomet!

My wife told me, "Don't buy 1 gun while on your trip," so I decided to buy 2 guns instead.

I like my women like I like my wine.

Twelve years old and tied up in my basement.

I was going to write a joke about my penis, but it was too lång and overused.

So, I'm sitting here smacking on some cheese ball BBQ my titties, and then I felt a shoe get shoved all the way up my ass. I cried, then turned around and said, "MOTHERFUCKING COCK SUCK FUCKIN GAY ASS HOE SHOVIN SHOE’S UP MY ASS SON OF A BITCH!" Then turned around, punched, and got smacked in the face. Went in for another punch, got smacked in the face, then people staring at me. I said, "WTF r u starin at," I punched as hard as I can, then got knocked out. I though this this isnt over motherfucker imma find u and kill u next thing i new i was in the hospital they told me why tf were u fighting a stops sign? I said what u were fighting a motherfuckering stop sign i sad bitchi aint crazing yo head a stop sign son of a bitch fuck my pussy u must be high! hai es a bitch muhfuhcka

My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.

Ha Ha Ha

I thought it was funny.

Dear uncle, I want my condoms.

Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.

Me: But you are not standing:)

So I was doing a puzzle, and I was getting triggered with it. My friend said, "It's puzzling why you're so triggered."

I hit my friend.

He's dead now.

Eat my butt.