My Jokes

RYAN MY BELOVED SON WHERE ARE YOU?

My jokes are like your dad, you only see them for a few days.

Are you an abstract manifestation of my childhood traumas and recent memories combined? 'Cause damn, you look like you came out of a dream!

I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!

My girlfriend told me that she wonders what our kids will look like.

No, they will be wondering what I look like.

My best friend is an orphan, and we try to have sleepovers, but his parents never say yes.

The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.

I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

The thing my mom birthed.

Am I doing my work? Because typing this took lots of work.

My girlfriend broke up with me today. Her mom had to take her to daycare. 😢😢😢

My teacher said, "Words don't hurt!"

So I threw my dictionary at her.

Me people call me emo.

Older cousin: Why?

Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one.

She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”

My peepee was big, now it's small.

"I want to kill my family."

-realizes-

When I died, my friend said he'd cover me.

My dad seen RuPaul's Drag Race?

Asked when will they do up the cars!