My jokes

Aaaah, I really wish Stephen Hawking was an organ donor...

I really need some new parts to my go-kart.

Can I put my balls in your jaw <3?

Anyone want to fuck? Cause my sisters are such cunts!

What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?

I want them both in my mouth!

The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.

My job is so amazing.

Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.

When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.

Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥

What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.

I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.

I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!

My joke is your life support getting unplugged because my phone is about to die.

"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.

My owl turned 180 today.

He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.

There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.

My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!

How do you know it's full?

Because there's not mushroom inside.

Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)

My friend told me she had a good joke and it beat all mine. I said, "Haha, that is funny!"

I called my dog 5 miles.

Today, I fawn over my miles.

The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.