My jokes
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
People joking about 9/11.
Random kid: "You shouldn’t joke about that! I lost my dad on 9/11."
Oh.
"Yeah, he was the greatest pilot ever!"
Why is Daisy afraid of candles?
Watch my videos and find out!!! 🤸♀️🕯📷💰😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Memes
I named my grass emo, and it cut itself.
Anonymous 1: Why are you crying?
Anonymous 2: No, buddy, come to my finral.
I didn't steal it. 🌚
Ashley said to me one day, "What is my name?"
And I said, "My name is everyday life of stupidity."
My grandma just died from cancer.
My last words to her were “I like your cut, G.”
What do you call 2 emos making out in a science classroom?
My Chemical Romance.
Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.
I don't joke about 9/11 because I lost my dad. He was the best pilot I ever knew.
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
I wanted to hire a butler for my new mansion in downtown LA. As he arrived, he introduced himself and I discovered it was Ghostionel Pessi.
I asked him why is he working as a butler? He told me that “a big game is coming up so he needs to refine his bottleling skills.” DAMN PESSI!
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥
Three men walk into a bar. The 1st says, "Hey, how's it going?" The 2nd one says, "Great!" But then the 3rd man says, "Hello, where did my wife go? I swear she was just here!" What happened to the 3rd guy's wife?
It's so cold, I mist bring my jacket.