My jokes
My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."
I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...
Memes
Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
My BALLS itched when I crashed the plane.
Would you like to win 100k?
Comment on my next video for a chance to win!
My grandfather told me I’m too reliant on technology, so I unplugged his life support and called him a hypocrite. I doubt he ever said that to anyone ever again.
To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!
L bozos fell like my grandma on the stairs.
I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."
Orphan: Have you seen my mommy?
Person: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes?
Person: SON SON??? IS THAT YOU MY LOVE?
Orphan: MOTHER!
Person: Let's go home!
Orphan: Uhhhh
*She was never to be seen again*
I asked Stephen if he was an organ donor, and he said why.
I said, "That's a shame. I need parts for my go-cart."
Guy 1: "Stop looking at my ass!" Guy 2: "I said look at Uranus." Guy 1: "I'm looking at uranus!" Guy 2: "I said Uranus like the planet!" Guy 1: "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.
But don't worry I think she was just joking.
I ate my mom.
I tried to name my grass "emo" so it will cut itself.