My jokes

Duck

    • A duck walks into a bar and buys everyone a round. He tells the bartender, “Put it on my bill.”

    Scarecrow

    • My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

    So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

    In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

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    • Pp

    • My pp was in the Guinness World Record book.

    The librarian then asked me to take it out.

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    • Friend

    • One day I went to my friend's apartment, and he told me to make myself at home.

    I threw him out of the window. I hate having visitors!

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    • My memes

    Titanic

    • My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink, but they wouldn’t listen, so he kept warning them. Then he was kicked out of the theater.

    Cousin

    • My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”

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    • Sister

    • Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

    Red: snooore, snoooore

    Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

    Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

    Chuck VS RED

    Both LOSE!

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    • Funeral

    • My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

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    • Fist

    • Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

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