My jokes

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.

About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."

My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.

Roblox Brookhaven be like:

"ABC if you wanna be adopted."

"ABC if you wanna be my friend."

"ABC if you wanna be a banker."

"ABC if you wanna rob the bank."

"ABC if you wanna date."

"ABC if you wanna sex."

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

What did the rapper say to the microphone?

"You're my closet confidant!"

You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.

Someone is adding dirt to my garden!

The plot thickens!

My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).

She wasn't joking. :0

We are 15....

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

What is the difference between me and the Twin Towers?

My mom was only airplane feeding me a spoon.

Hey girl, are you a scientist?

Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."