My jokes

Hey girl, are you a scientist?

Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.

I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

My wife is so fat. After sex, I rolled over twice. I was still on top of the bitch!

Guy: Hey, Siri, I failed my final exams, can you cheer me up?

Siri: What’s the difference between you and your grandma? Your grandma passed!

So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"

I asked my mom with cerebral palsy a question.

Still waiting on an answer.

"Wubba Lubba Dub Dub" is one way to describe how my inner child acts, but yesterday I killed them. Now I hear "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," I’m drowning in the tub.

Luke asks his friend, "How old is your father?"

James replied, "He's as old as me."

Luke then said, "It doesn't make any sense."

James then said, "He became my father when I was born."

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

I was sitting in class when my teacher said, "Have any questions?" the suspended Class clown said, "Who's Joe?" So the teacher said, "Joe who?" So the clown said, "Joe Mama!" So I said, "What in the BALLS?" So I ended up staying in detention with the clown, ah, so cozy!

My ass itches.

I like my coffee black. Just like my soul.

Guess what my plans are for the weekend? Suing the NYCDOE for blocking (probably) WEBTOONS.com.

Why is my anus burning?

'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!

Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

Boy: “Yeah, why?”

Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

Why did my parents walk to the other side?

...Why?

Your mom said my cum tastes like Captain Crunch, bitch.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.

My girlfriend asked, "Why is this test so long and hard?"

I then said, "You know what else is long and hard..."

She was amazed!

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.