I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
My Jokes
Twitter just blew my mind.
I was having a blast until I ended the stream with a bang!
What should my next YT vid be about?
My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.
I did this to my ex. I stole her wheelchair. I knew she would come crawling back.
The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.
My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.
(Again, credits to my really funny friend)
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
My April Fool's joke is going to an orphanage and telling them their parents came back.
My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:
Allah hu akbar.
My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."
Which way is quicker to die? Noose or slitting my throat?
My uncle died on 9/11. Her last words were "Allahu Akbar."
Hi, are you even my sister?
Yes, I am.
No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.
It's not bad that my car doesn't beep when reversing.
The screams of the passers-by are enough for me!
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
Have anyone seen my balls? I can't find them on my chest.
Hey! My balls are on your thing!
All my 9/11 jokes crash and burn.
Can I put my balls in your jaw <3?
