My jokes
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.
What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?
Panera Ned.
I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
Why did the cop ask the orphan if he was home alone?
The orphan said because my parents have never come back yet because I have none.
I like my humans like I like my chicken... Fully cooked.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?
Magician: "I am the greatest magician in the whole world. Look, now you see the rabbit in the hat, and now it is gone!"
Redneck girl: "That's nothing. My dad is the greatest magician! He disappears for a whole year and reappears at Christmas for a couple of hours!"
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
I've got a job defusing landmines.
It's difficult, but hopefully soon I'll find my feet.
You go h dichotomy lol what do you want to what what’s the name for the address for sure what’s what I name it says I name it lol I don’t o I have to get r CB n nu set set e Okay okay I’ll be at my place.