My jokes
Jacob likes fucking me and my mom.
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
Now I know what my priest meant by the second coming!
I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......
Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"
If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.
The only joke my dad ever made was me.
I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
My name is Shelly Bobby... I don't know my last name.
Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. My dad is gone to...
My son got in trouble for writing the following underneath the question “Do aliens exist?”
“Of course they do! They live in Mexico!”
I caught my wife this morning gazing at our marriage license of long ago that hangs upon our wall with tears in her eye!
Almost got teary eyed myself until she told me she was only looking for the expiration date!
So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
Guys, I'm back...
Here's my joke:
What is blue and red all over?
Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.
Sometimes I am happy, and there are times I envy my dog.