My jokes

What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.

My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.

"Hold my beer, watch this."

I have to say that Halloween is my favorite day...

Every time they see me, kids and mothers run away...

I don’t have a costume so please don’t reprimand...

When I open up the door, I’ve got my penis in my hand.

Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.

If wishes were horses, Beggars would ride.

If turnips were watches, I would wear one by my side.

And if if's and an's were pots and pans, The tinker would never work!

My grief counselor died the other day.

He was so good at his job, I don't even care.

My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.

My therapist told me time heals wounds, so I stabbed him, and now we wait.

The other day my girlfriend asked me to hand her the red lipstick, so I handed her the dog.

My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?

Someone complimented me on my driving last week. They left a note saying, "Parking Fine!"

This morning I woke up, then took a bath with some chocolate mud. At first, when I turned the damn flossers on, I noticed it wasn't water. It was all chocolate mud, and now my body is all chocolatey.

My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."

What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha

Admins, if you are seeing this, please look in the comments of https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5d521e61d3e53a06d27bc361/why-are-you-censoring-my-friend-franz.

I'm sorry.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

Overall, I'd say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

I was at a concert in the front row, and I shouted something to the band's guitarist. He took it the wrong way and responded: "I'm going to go down there and hit you with my guitar!"

And I replied: "Is that a death fret?"

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.