My jokes

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.

I wish my grass was emo because then it would cut itself.

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!

Who's in my ass?

Your sister.

You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."

My name is Bishal Khan and I can't walk.

Stop making 9/11 jokes, guys! My uncle died in that event. He was the best Arabian pilot in the world!

911 what's your emergency?

"Burning in toaster."

"Toast?"

"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"

"Set fire to my forest!"

My dog died today. 😥

My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.