What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
My Jokes
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
My friend said that his book was getting boring and that he's gonna kill off some characters.
I asked him what his book was about and he said, "Oh, it's an autobiography."
Orphan: My mommy and daddy love me.
Guy: Where are they then?
Orphan: In the eternal depths of [hell].
To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.
How on God's green earth does my boyfriend have a phone?
JK WE NEED TO TALK ILL TYPE THE SECRET CODE (YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.) GREEN PUSSY CAT LIKES BANNANS.
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
My dad went to school saying dad jokes. I was embarrassed and I cried with a-dult cry.
My girlfriend was cheating in Uno.
She's not the only one who can play that game.
I know I've changed my name from tj to selfish king but know it's gunna be selfishking#781.
I was digging and found some gold. I was going to tell my mom, then I remembered why I was digging.
Who wants to be my boyfriend?
Bianca: Mr. Doeken, even though I completed my test, you still said it was "late." Why is that?
Mr. Dowon: Bianca, for the LAST TIME, MY LAST NAME IS DOWON!
Bianca (🤨): Are you sure?
Mr. Dowon (😒): What do you need, Bianca?
Bianca: It's Bianca!
Mr. Dowon: Are you sure?
I wish my grass was emo, so then it could cut itself.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
Hello, I'm C-3PO. And this is my brother, WD-40.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
