My jokes

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.

I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!

Should I kill the main character's best friends in my book? It's an autobiography.

I was riding my bike when I saw a man's head in the wheel. It was mine.

Orphans around my area only watched Youtube Shorts.

I asked them and then realized they can't click the home button.

I was sitting in class, and the teacher said he wasn't disappointed in me and my best friend, but not so much in me.

I looked at my best friend and said, "I'm a disappointment to the teacher, too."

Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.

What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?

Panera fed.

Credit to RogueRobot for this one:

What does Panera sleep in?

Panera bed.

I will never forget my grandpa's last words, Hold the ladder!

What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?

Panera Ned.

I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!

For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.

I was riding a bike with no helmet. I went and went with no helmet until... I broke my head with no helmet on!

All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.

My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.

My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don't even care!

Who's in my ass?

Your sister.

You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."

Me: Y’all should start calling me 1943.

Friend: Why?

Me: 'Cause I’m going through my own Great Depression.