My jokes
I was at a My Chemical Romance meet and greet that Gerard didn’t attend, I just thought... “NO WAY!”
My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".
My friends: "I dare you to go home."
I want some cheeseburgers just to eat. I'm talkin' ketchup. My n***a mustard on that BEAT!
I told my friend you should definitely quit smoking, but he could not find me because he was already up in flames.
I'm always forgetting these kinds of jokes. I also forgot my son's name.
Memes
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."
I broke up with my emo girlfriend yesterday, look who came crawling back!
What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
Teacher told me to turn in my essay, but I ain't no snitch, fool.
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
Me and my friend roasting each other.
Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose, but my dad dropped me by accident.
Me: But after dropping you, he never picked you up.
I caught my wife cheating on me.
I beat my son and grounded him.
What do Ligma and Bofa have in common?
They both ride on my dick.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
I suck my dick.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
Admins, if you are seeing this, please look in the comments of https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5d521e61d3e53a06d27bc361/why-are-you-censoring-my-friend-franz.
I'm sorry.