My jokes
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
I'll never forget my aunt's last words before she died: "Can you stop shaking the ladder, please?"
My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?
Because they have no parents to run to.
Memes
Ok, this is a texting joke. This isn't my joke; I found it on Google.
Mom: SON YOURE G-MOM JUST PASSED AWAY lol
Son: Mom, how is that funny?!?! I hope you're not laughing!
Mom: OH NO I THOUGHT LOL MEANT LAUGHING OUT LOUD
Mom: They say our kid neighbor has blue blood.
Son: Really?
Also 2 hours later:
Son: Mom, the kid doesn't have blue blood.
Mom: Son, I-
"I spy with my little eye..."
- Noting I am blind -
What’s the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus?
They’re both saying “Oh my god my mom’s gonna kill me!”
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
Me and my friend's life story on a daily basis.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
What did one snow ❄️ man say to itself? My arm is broken.
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.
Did you hear about the guy that was cutting off people's feet and taking them?
It took my sole.
What’s the difference between my sister-in-law and a driveway?
I pull out of the driveway.