What's the difference between me and cancer?
My father didn’t beat cancer.
My Jokes
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
My dad died, so I dug his grave. I was asked why I murdered him. I answered, "Guess we'll never know who did it because he dug his own grave." My father was William Afton.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
My girlfriend passed away recently.
At the funeral, everyone was shocked about it.
Still, even when dead, she is the best shag I've ever known.
Hi, my name is Jeff.
I did phone sex, but I'll never do it again because last time my penis got stuck in the charging cord.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
My aunt’s star sign is Cancer, so it’s pretty ironic how she died. She was eaten alive by a giant freaking crab!
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
Shorkey will find you in bed tonight, and he will eat you like my joke or else...
Daddy, I really miss you. Mummy changed my name to Tickle Timpson. Anyway, daddy I forgive you for abusing me.
So, my mom looked in the mirror today, and we need a new one.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
