My jokes
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.
I told my friends that are gay that my hairline's straighter than he will ever be.
The Twin Towers collapsed faster than my grandma did.
My ex-friends are depressed. Their names are Kaitlyn and Ava.
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
One of my family members died on 9/11, he was one of the best pilots in the Middle East.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
Someone in my class yelled "Jenga!" while watching a documentary about the Twin Towers.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Chuck Norris is the only man that ever had sex with my wife and survived. Oh, how did I survive?
Fortunately, being her husband, I was the one person she wasn't fucking.
Diet Day #1 - I removed all the fattening food from my house. It was delicious.
If you say "slay" in my comments I will follow all of you lmao who are signed in.
To start off this Christmas season, I'ma make a list of what I want, then I'ma make plans with my family, then to start off my decorations, I'ma start with the first ornament and hang myself.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.
Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.
My penis is big and long, what else is... my condom... cucumber.
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.